Psalm 66

Shout joyfully to God, all the earth;
Sing the glory of His name;
Make His praise glorious.
Say to God, “How awesome are your works!
Because of the greatness of Your power
Your enemies will give feigned obedience to You.
All the earth will worship You,
And will sing praises to You;
They will sing praises to Your name.” Selah.

This is what I turn to when tears come. This is what my heart needs when it cannot have you. This is what I read when other words won’t do.

This, and you know why.

It’s hard. Not every hour. Not every day. But when it comes, it stays, like an unwelcome guest. Demanding at the very least cordiality, a guest like this can wear you out. They take your time; steal your self from yourself. They force you to clean up after dinner just a little more than you normally would. They might not even ask for much; they might just stick around in silence. You might not know they are there, after all. In fact, I think they’ve already left…

The view from here never gets old. I witness the sun as it goes down slowly on this city, illuminating the trees and highlighting colors I’ve not yet seen in them: flecks of gold, a little orange here, there a brown. The city sleeps when I do, long before you rest your head on blue striped sheets and khaki cases.

I look to my right: four smiles find me smiling back, fighting the urge to wave (I know the picture won’t wave back). Further right and it’s us again, in a castle’s sill. My view is similar here, but if I rest my back against the wall it is not stone. I can put my arms around only myself, no brother near to take the photo. The look of love invites the guest back in, and I realize they’ve never really left.

I love and miss you Gina.
Deine Blakey

-BW